Fun Surrrrey

Fun Surrrrey is a kids' show airing on Cartoon Network. It teaches important lessons about friendship, work ethic, and culture.

S1E1 Dyson's Tower Quest City

 * Synopsis
 * A boy learns that he is the chosen one, but can he handle the responsibility?

[We open on a futuristic, sprawling vertical mall-like strucure, encompassed within a cylindrical glass tower. Our protagonist, the young Dyson, is calling an elevator.]

Dyson: This is my city, Epicopolis. It's fun, fun, fun, every day and all night.

[The elevator doors slide open. Dyson enters the empty shaft and floats upwards.]

Dyson: I think my friends and I would like to play at the arcade.

Arcade jingle: Arcade! (They Have Games)

[Suddenly, an old man in a wizard costume, carrying a stack of small boxes, dashes past Dyson before realizing something. He leaps back towards Dyson, sticking the landing with an impressive cartwheel.]

Old man: You! You are the chosen one!

Dyson: Oh no. But me and my friends were going to like to play at the arcade.

Old man: There's no time for that! There lies a world outside this city. In the jungles of Interivia rules a dangerous green beast. You must venture out there and put an end to its rampage. Otherwise, it may threaten our homeland security and cause mass hysteria.

Dyson: I realize what I must do. I am the chosen one.

[The old man hands Dyson a sword.]

Old man: This is the sacred blade of Phoramet. You must learn its power to defeat the beast!

Dyson: I will train for years to fulfill my destiny.

[Dyson immediately drops the sword. It falls through the floor.]

Old man: Good boy! But now, how will you exit the city?

[Cut to a different shot of the same character.]

Old man: Why, is it not obvious? We will use&hellip; the hatch!

[We see Dyson exiting through the hatch. We hear the droning of a 60 Hz mains hum, to simulate the conditions of the outside world. Then comes a montage of Dyson's journey through the elements.]

Dyson: Oh boy, that foul beast is sure going to pay when I reach his lair.

[Cut to the cavernous lair of the beast, Gubsby. He is a dragon with a square head, and appears to be fed up with the small teacup he is holding.]

Gubsby: I knew I shouldn't have bought the chamomile.

[Gubsby takes a reluctant sip. Cut back to Dyson in the tundra.]

Dyson: But is this really all I am. Is my destiny really all that defines me. And can I really handle the responsibility of being chosen one.

[Dyson has a long, deep internal argument as melancholy piano music plays and the camera slowly zooms closer. Of course, being an internal argument, we hear none of it.]

Dyson: I realize now what I must do. And I have the element of surprise on my side. That fiend, Gubsby, will even not see it coming.

[Cut to Gubsby watching television.]

Televised announcer: Are you looking for fun? Come on down to Epicopolis. We have consumerism and repressed urban blight! We even have an arcade!

Arcade jingle: Arca&mdash;

[The sound cuts off. Gubsby has changed the channel.]

Gubsby: Grr, that respectable Epicopolis and its flaunting of its repressed urban blight. I despise their brutal honesty, but not enough to act upon it.

[Gubsby flips through channels.]

Gubsby: Ooh, my soaps are on!

[Cut to the television screen. We see a scene from Gubsby's favorite soap opera. In front of a psychedelically colored background, a human skull facing the camera reels backwards as its jaw opens, letting out a painful, extended shriek layered over a bass-boosted recording of dial-up Internet.]

Gubsby: Ugh. You would, Jennifer. This series has really gone downhill since season 5.

[There is a ding from Gubsby's microwave in the adjacent room. Gubsby, bored but still in biological need of food, hops on his lawnmower to ride it over to the microwave.]

Gubsby: I knew I should have gotten the down payment on this thing.

[He drives it down his terra cotta spiral staircase for about fifteen straight seconds, then lands in a pine forest.]

Gubsby: Great, now my basement's flooded, too?

[He falls off of the lawnmower, tumbles up a ramp, and quickly inputs a passcode into a metal keypad, which, as the camera zooms out, is revealed to be the buttons on the front of his microwave, which he is standing calmly before.]

Gubsby: Well. Sweet Greek spirals, here we come!

[As the television blares classic rock music from the next room over, Gubsby presses the button to open the microwave door. However, a tiny Dyson emerges from the bucket of what is obviously popcorn that was in the microwave.]

Gubsby: You, puny human! How dare you seek refuge within my Greek spirals?

Dyson: I am the element of your demise.

[Dyson clutches his blade and charges at Gubsby, who has the most priceless look on his face. Suddenly, we cut to a hyperrealistic human lurching out of their bed in a cold sweat.]

Hyperrealistic human: Aah! No more Chocolate Cubes before bed.

Chocolate Cubes jingle: Chocolate Cubes! (They Are Made Primarily of Cacao and Sugar, and Are a Good Source of Monounsaturated Fat)

S1E2 Alternate Kevin

 * Synopsis
 * Mikey bites off more than he can chew when he enrolls in marching band.

[It's Mikey's first day of middle school, and he's walking to band class.]

Band teacher: Welcome, all musicians! As you know, it's now marching band season!

Classmate: Oh no, I didn't know that!

Mikey: Oh no! And it's now marching band season!

Intercom: All marching band students to the field. Again, all marching band students to the field. Effective immediately! We cannot afford another indoor casualty.

Mikey: Aw, rats!

[Mikey's lovable catchphrase is followed by the classic trombone womp-womp. Cut to the field. There is a sign pointing to it, identifying it as such. The band students are in block formation on the field identified by the sign.]

Band teacher: Your new drum majors this year are&hellip; R!

R: Thank you, I'm honored. If I may?

Band teacher: Go ahead.

R: Band ten-hut!

Band: One!

[The band snaps to attention. A drill has begun.]

R: Band horns up!

[The band snaps their instruments into playing position.]

R: Band horns down!

[The band snaps their horns back down.]

R: Band horns up!

[You get the idea.]

R: Band horns down!

R: Band horns up!

R: Band horns down!

R: Band horns up!

R: Band horns down!

R: Band horns up!

R: Band horns up!

Band: As you were, sir!

[Mikey is the only one not to have said this. Everyone knows you can't put your horns up when they're already up. Mikey feels a bit like a fool.]

R: At ease!

[The band is suddenly standing at the parade rest position. Everyone knows you can't be dismissed from a parade rest.]

Band: As you were, sir!

R: At ease!

[The band is suddenly standing at attention again, and releases the position as instructed.]

Mikey: This is ridiculous! Herding us kids up in this blazing weather. I signed up for a music class! Where's the music? Where's the funky rhythms? Where's the seventh overtone in the harmonic series?

Band teacher: Gold star, Mikey! Let's not waste any more time, and perform that music we all rehearsed over summer break. R, why not count the band off?

R: A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three, four!

[The band chants the lyrics to a familiar pop song, Tony Basil's "Hey Mickey", in a perfect monotone unison.]

Band: Oh, Mikey, you are fine. Your hair is as cabbage, and your womb is of canid descent.

[Mikey glances at his forehead and removes the head of lettuce that has apparently landed upon it.]

Mikey: Aw, rats!

[Trombone sting.]

Band teacher: Now, class, that wasn't very nice of you. You've ganged up on poor Mikey!

Mikey: If I'm being honest, I really don't mind.

Band teacher: They told you everything was fine, but everything isn't fine, is it?

Mikey: Actually, I'm doing pretty&mdash;

Band teacher: Mikey, bullying isn't okay. You gotta put your foot down and stand up for yourself, ideally using said foot. You can't just do what people say, you gotta stand up for yourself! Now, why don't you sort this out with your counselor?

Mikey: Yes, yes.

[Mikey is in the counselor's office with his counselor.]

Counselor: So we meet again, Mikey. I hear you have been bullied?

Mikey: Not really&hellip;

Counselor: Come on, Mikey, remember what your teacher taught you? You've got to stand up for yourself!

Mikey: Fine. These kids were reciting limericks at my expense.

Counselor: Limericks or haikus?

Mikey: Actually, I'm not entirely sure of the distinction, myself.

Counselor: Oof, sorry Mikey, but that'll be a twenty-point penalty for your house!

Mikey: Aw, rats!

[Trombone sting.]

Mikey: I thought I just asked you not to do the womp-womp!

[Zoom out to reveal the same classmate from before, a disappointed trombone player.]

Classmate: Aw, rats&hellip;

Mikey: Come on, son. Let's go.

[Mikey stands and picks up his pet wolf. They leave the counselor's office in a huff, while doing a sort of frenzied Irish jig. His counselor slowly cranes his counselor's neck towards the camera.]

Counselor: Remember to stand up for yourselves, kids!

S1E3 Here, Sphere

 * Synopsis
 * The fellas lose their sphere.

[We open on a girl, Ian, walking up to a backyard. She opens the door to find Ban, who is ranting to himself.]

Ban: My name is Ban. Did I ask to be named Ban? No! This is another example of the system trying to keep me down. You can read more in my ream-long thesis, "Evolution of Humankind in Video Games (350,000 BCE–1957)". Yes, please hold all questions until the end.

[Ian walks through the otherwise barren yard.]

Ian: Hi, Ban.

Ban: Grrrr! But hi, Ian. I didn't see you come in.

Ian: So, I was thinking&hellip; should we create a secret club?

Ban: I don't see why not. We're now officially the fellas.

Ian: All in sentence case?

Ban: You know me too well. I've never been a fan of the capitalization of proper nouns. For instance, my name, Ban, is&hellip;

[The house's back door slides open to reveal Dan, manager of the fellas.]

Both: Oh no! It's Dan, manager of the fellas!

Dan: What's that thing floating mysteriously around you?

[He gestures to their large sphere, hovering above head level between them.]

Ban: Oh, that's our sphere. It provides all the energy&mdash;

Ian: And entropy!

Ban: &mdash;needed to fund the fellas.

Dan: Well, what if you lost it?

Ian: If we what now?

Dan: Do you have a backup plan? What if I closed my eyes, counted to three, and saw that it was gone?

[It is.]

Ban: Oh no! Where's our sphere?

Ian: What sphere?

Ban: Ours! That one!

[He points past the left backyard fence. The sphere is floating along the sidewalk.]

Dan: It's getting away! You two: find our sphere and put a stop to it!

[A musical number begins as they chase after their sphere.]

Ian: We have to split up and track it down.

Ban: Got it.

[He continues to follow Ian.]

Ban: We had our own shape, and now it's gone It floated about and it weighed a ton

Ian: It was a geometric figure of the third dimension And we meant it no ill intention

Ban: I had a pain in my succedaneous

Ian: Palliated by its constant radius

Dan: Thought they'd hold onto that sphere for sure But there's no grip on its positive curvature

Ian: It didn't terminate in a point

Ban: We had it all in one piece, it was no conjoint

Ian: It had a single surface And to the circle, it was analagous

Both: Come here, sphere (Here, sphere)

Ian: We need to get you back

Both: You're unlimited power in a convex hull Get over here, sphere (Here, sphere)

Ban: Some people think you're boring

Both: But you don't have any edges, so they can't be dull Right over here, sphere (Here, sphere) You're no Steve Urkel There's no way around it, except a great circle And we'd never paint you purple Unless we ran out of rhymes Like we're running out of time

Ban: We've had it up to here, sphere

Ian: Excuse me, pardon me, coming through&hellip; Ban, look both ways before crossing the street!

[We hear the cacophony of a car crash, with a pan revealing that the collision was just between two bicyclists.]

Ban: No time for crosswalks, we gotta do a speedrun

Ian: Because you're no polyhedron

Ban: Quit translating that point from which your surface is equidistant

Both: You're not that self-sufficient

Ian: Because you're our sphere, you're our property And it's not the other way around If it were, we might have constant girth Or be transformed into yourself by a three-parameter family of rigid motions

Both: Our life isn't that idyllic When not all points are umbilics

Ban: Without our sphere, I'm out of my gourd!

Ian: We'll have to take him to the psychiatric ward (Psychiatric ward)

Both: Come here, sphere (Here, sphere)

Ian: You'd make a mean curvature

Both: The smallest total mean curvature among all convex solids with a given surface area If you were here, sphere (Here, sphere)

Ban: You're our fused quartz gyroscope

Both: Without you now, we're losing hope, or even in hysteria Here, sphere (Here, sphere)

Ian: We're your Eratosthenes

Ban: We listen to your album, the harmony of you

Both: And now here's our hit single As we search through the dingle, yeah There's nothing to fear So get over here, sphere

Dan: What's taken you two so long? It's been at least a full-on musical number, and still no success? I might have to lower your wages!

[Ban and Ian drop to their knees as though to worship Dan.]

Ian: Please, anything but that, manager Dan!

Ban: Otherwise known as m'an!

Dan: No one calls me m'an. Now do you have any leads?

Ban: Not really&hellip; I mean, we've combed through the entire downtown, apart from a few shady alleyways, and the general residency of the office complex, and&hellip;

[A shadow suddenly drifts over the fellas. Dan glances up and notices its source, going from purple with anger to pale and transfixed in record time.]

Ian: Oh, don't tell me.

Dan: Fellas? &hellip;I think we have our sphere.

[Ban and Ian turn around as their sphere lunges at the fellas. We transition through a zoom blur to a JRPG-esque battle interface.]

Sphere: For years, I have been misunderstood. But now, the world will appreciate my Platonic ideals. I do not circumscribe just any ball. No more rounded-off truncated icosahedrons. Behold my sphere of influence!

[It's Ban's turn to attack. He swings the sword of his sphere's defeat, slicing it perfectly along its equator.]

Sphere: No! That was where I had my cardioid surgery!

[The fellas' former sphere vanishes into a puff of smoke, and the illusion of the battle sequence wears off. The remains of the sliced sphere lie twitching on the asphalt of the adjacent roadway.]

Ian: &hellip;Now it's just two hemispheres&hellip; We're even more sphereless than we were before&hellip;

Dan: Ban, for destroying our main power source, your fellas membership is henceforth revoked, and you are fired.

[Ban immediately catches on fire. To add insult to injury, a bicyclist from before runs over one of the hemispheres, cutting it again.]

Ban: Math is for geeks, anyway.

S1E4 All Hallows' Phobias

 * Synopsis
 * Two girls must get over their fears, but it won't be easy.

[We open on a public pool.]

August: Ah, the public pool is so relaxing and warm!

Aurelia: August, that's not the public pool? That's the public hot tub?

August: I know, but it's so relaxing and warm! You should try it!

Aurelia: Come on, you promised to keep me company in the public pool?

August: Why are so you scared of the public pool, anyway! It's supposed to be relaxing and warm!

Aurelia: Well, it's not warm? And I told you, I'm terrified of jellyfish?

August: There aren't any jellyfish in the public pool!

Aurelia: What's wrong with a little hesitation and caution?

Lifeguard: I agree! Cautious behavior is very important for staying safe at the public pool.

[The Public Pool Hot Tub Safety Rules Song begins. The lifeguard puts on a top hat.]

Lifeguard: Before you get into the hot tub Be sure that you are clean Get parent supervision, kids I don't mean to be mean But if you're pregnant or you're elderly You've got to ask your doc And if you dive into the hot tub Then we'll have a little talk

Aurelia: What's the song and dance about?

August: Just go with it, the hot tub isn't getting any less relaxing and warm!

Lifeguard: No getting water in your mouth Get in and get out slow And no using the substances That we can't mention on this show Just check our hot tub safety sign And that's about it It's up to you to keep the public pool From go&mdash;

[The lifeguard's song and dance is interrupted as he slips on the wet floor and crashes into an elderly person and their grandchild, causing the three of them to quickly fall into the hot tub. The lifeguard falls in headfirst, bumping against the floor. He cries out, opening his mouth and letting water in. Just then, the jets in the hot tub turn off.]

Aurelia: I&hellip; think it's time to back away slowly?

[August and Aurelia are getting into the real deal, the public pool.]

August: Wow, the public pool is chilly!

Aurelia: It wouldn't seem as cold if you hadn't just been in the hot tub for so long? Oh no, is that a jellyfish? In the public pool?

[There is indeed a jellyfish. In the public pool.]

August: Why tell me, Aurelia! I told you, I'm not afraid of jellyfish! I'm afraid of spiders!

Aurelia: A jellyfish is like a transparent water spider, though?

[They look at each other, then shriek and scramble out of the pool. The Public Pool Noise Pollution Ordinance Song begins as the same, now-drenched lifeguard walks up.]

Lifeguard: No shrieking at the public pool We've got to keep things hush Because the mayor has ordained That volume levels must be&mdash;Oh no, is that a jellyfish? In the public pool?

[Aurelia and the lifeguard look at each other, then shriek and scramble away.]

August: On second thought, it really isn't that scary! Oh well, it's time to head to my job as a pilot!

[Instead of cutting to that, we cut to Aurelia's job as an invasive species field worker.]

Aurelia: I'm not sure August was acting with my best interests in mind? Should we still be friends?

English ivy: I am English ivy.

Aurelia: Why am I even talking to English ivy, anyway? I'm supposed to be removing you from the environment, right? Has my life stooped this low?

English ivy: Yes. I mean, I am English ivy.

Aurelia: You're right, English ivy, it would be silly to try to talk to you, wouldn't it?

[She rakes away violently at the English ivy. Now we cut to August's job as a pilot.]

August: It is so much fun being a pilot! I like how bright the clouds are, but they can be very hard to look at! Also, the noise from the aircraft I am currently piloting can make it very hard to hear, so I talk loudly at all times to ensure that I am understood! But the most fun thing of all is following strict rules and regulations to keep the whole plane safe!

[August glances knowingly at the audience. Meanwhile, the same lifeguard from earlier enters the cockpit.]

Lifeguard: Did I hear someone say "following strict rules and regulations for a plain safe"?

August: No, so clearly I am not talking loudly enough!! Also, aren't you the same lifeguard from earlier!! And, more importantly, why are you up here!!

Lifeguard: Well, I was fired from my job as a lifeguard, so I'm going to spend some time with my family from out of town, before picking up my backup job as a safe manufacturer. Throughout life, one must wear many hats.

August: It's a shame that you were fired, because I kinda digged your songs and dances!! But ironically, fire is a safety hazard, which reminds me that I what I meant to ask you was, why are you up here in the cockpit of the aircraft I am currently piloting!!

Lifeguard: Oh, I was going to warn you about the sky spiders.

August: Not sky spiders!!

[Immediately, sky spiders begin descending from webs hung from the sky, and pelt the windshield of the plane. We cut back to Aurelia, who is recieving a news alert about the sky spiders.]

Aurelia: Aren't sky spiders an invasive species? I should help August? But I'm still not over the way she treated me at the public pool?

Jellyfish: You're really going to let that get in the way of saving the lives of not only your best friend, but of countless inoccent passengers?

Aurelia: That's&hellip; wait, who said that?

[The jellyfish floats out of the English ivy and lunges at her. She shrieks as the camera pans upwards before we cut back to August.]

August: I'm terrified of spiders, and sky spiders are a type of spider!! Now I know how Aurelia must have felt at the public pool!!

[A sky spider breaches the windshield, sucking everything in the cockpit towards the hole, and by proxy, towards the aforementioned sky spider. Just then, Aurelia appears, riding the jellyfish. It zips through all of the sky spiders' webs, which Aurelia takes and fashions into a plug for the windshield.]

Lifeguard: Wow! That's very uncautious behavior!

Aurelia: And there's nothing wrong with a bit of rashness and uncaution, right?

[She leaps off of the jellyfish, through the hole in the cockpit, plucks the sky spider from the floor, throws it out of the plane, and plugs the hole with the sky spider windshield plug.]

August: So you got over your fear!!

Aurelia: Um, no? I was still terrified? We are at tens of thousands of feet in altitude, and I was outside of the plane?

[After an awkward moment, August and Aurelia reach out for a hug. The lifeguard attempts to join in, too, but slips on the sky spider residue and flies through the windshield, dislodging the plug.]

August: The plug!!

[The lifeguard lands safely on the jellyfish, which eases his fall, before shrieking and attempting to scramble off of it. After a brief tumble, he inexplicably lands in the hot tub at the same public pool from earlier, bumping against the floor. He cries out, opening his mouth and letting water in. Just then, the jets in the hot tub turn off.]

Aurelia: I&hellip; think it's time to back away slowly?

Lifeguard: Please.